Sunday, January 17, 2010

The mother-child relationship - how to earn and maintain the confidence of children

Confidence is a very powerful concept. It takes time to build its still can be stopped within seconds. Once broken, it takes much longer to rebuild, when he made an attempt to establish in the first place. An honest relationship with open communication is essential to establish between parent and child, the relationship of trust is probably the most difficult. Aside from love, trust is the most important and most powerful element you can do with your children. If they can believe and trustwant in it, that model and reliable. However, if we can not trust and believe in you, they lose faith in humanity grow and have no respect for the bonds of trust.

Before this article was written, I asked my children, "Trust me, I mean, you really trust me?" What I learned from her answers and explanations of what creates trust from the perspective of parents is different from the perspective of a child. Parents find it difficult to trust the children caused bytheir nature sometimes dishonest and deceptive. However, when children are raised to value honesty, they speak openly with their parents and not feel the need to sneak around or lie down. In this way the parents can be informed and to make informed decisions when driving children on the road of life. But I can guarantee that if the children do not trust their parents for some reason, are all you can do to make Mom and Dad in the dark. If you know what children want to do, must be ableTrust you enough to let you in on it. The most important (in this sense from the perspective of a child because that's what we're trying to create, as the parents), here are the 5 most effective ways for a parent to earn the trust of a child:

1. Keeping the word. Keeping your word on everything possible, no matter how small, is a must. If a parent of a child who is about to say something, they need to ensure follow through and do it. A model of promisecan take the children know that if mom or dad says something, they can do so until the bank. You trust that your word is good as gold. In our house, we try to keep the old axiom, "Your word is your bond." When you say you're going to do something, do it. Will happen if you say something has to happen. But be sure when you say something, and not repeatedly on your promises, the children will quickly learn that not a word you say. Promises are not a good way to loseprecious trust.

2. Be honest. Sure, sometimes parents have to say a little 'white lie "to protect their children. But when it comes to important issues and significant, the best policy is to be honest, even if sugar-coat a little '. Honestly, two things: You can make your child knows that the answers are honest, to be able to trade with confidence, and you send your child the message that honesty, no matter how difficult it is sometimesRight thing to do. Viewed through faith in the honesty of your example, children grow up to be honest in return, so we know that if they say they are and do what they said they would. Honest, unbiased, without retroactive effect, the confidence of a child who can talk to parents about everything.

3. Keep calm. Parents who are accessible, on sensitive issues, build trust with the child. If a child knows who will come to you and you do not "flip out" onsomething that deserves attention, he will trust you to help him, the solutions, and trust your guide through the situation. Parents who fly over the issue of control after the issue quickly, the message that you can trust to listen to the child because the child cries of fear, send e-mail to cry, fight and punishment. Parents lose their cool and taught to throw the case with the child, the child is never a problem. If the child does not trust parentslistening in silence, they turn to their friends instead of the inexperienced, and these are the last to redirect your child.

4. Being there for them. When children know that Mom and Dad are there for them is that support them through crisis after another, they develop a bond of trust that is essential for open communication. My daughter said, "You were always there for me." Rightly or wrongly, I knew you were there. "To know her that I was in their team, even if we do private conversationsremembering what they did wrong, trust that I am trustworthy. He knew that even if there is nobody, I was that set her full trust and confidence in me. And when they trust me, who shares with me a lot more than other girls were with their parents.

5. Be a role model. Do nothing misleading or wrong, that does not raise your children. Cheating, stealing and disrespect for authority will emulate the behavior of your child. When a child feels abouttrustworthy behavior, then seeing them do things that are completely at odds with each other what they preach, that unless you can trust to learn to be a good person to get to them at the end, the efforts to create trust fall. Exemplary behavior teaches classes and is the confidence in your integrity. Poor teaching unacceptable conduct a double standard, which is the same with two faces, and this is the best way to lose the integrity and confidence of your children.

Children seeHow we behave as parents. If we keep our word, must remain honest, quiet, those who persevere, and are well educated, as we ask them, they will learn that we can trust under any circumstances. The degree of confidence, while it is difficult to establish the education of children through the confusion of adolescence, of crucial importance. If you lay the groundwork for the initial trust, keep it strong during adolescence and continues into adulthood careful, your children will never be everything you say or do, with aCum grano salis. Citizens to have confidence, and you're on track to raise respectful, honest, moral people. Not be trusted and you can bet that your kids are up to far more than you know. For me, I'd be confident and know what is happening have been used as a dictator and being left in the dark. Aside from love, which is connected, is the confidence of the hardest but most valuable link when available to guide children through the smoke and mirror of life.

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